DinoBros.

went to go see a free showing of Jurassic Park at the local CC today.

for those of you who don't know about this film 

(it's kind of an indie film, i think wes anderson directed it)

this film is about animals called dinobros that lived a long time ago.

if you've never seen Jurassic Park, here is a few things you should know.

Jurassic Park is the greatest film in the history of american cinema.

they made 2 sequels

they are the 2nd & 3rd greatest films in the history of american cinema.

it stars Sam Neill (Event Horizon, Bicentennial Man) as a dinobro 

expert who goes to a sweet new amuesment park 

that has rides and dinobros and junk

thankfully, he knows alot about dinobros and that helps him survive 

when the dinobros emancipate themselves/start getting vulnerable.

that and his authentic flannel (paleo-plaid?).

it is a well known that dinobros will not kill anything wearing flannel.

this serious deebag is Jeff Goldblum (Nine Months, Deathwish III).

in the movie, he plays a snarky, altjew mathematician, 

which as you can see, is quite a stretch for him.

i guess his black justice jacket & deep cut v-neck shirt

help him with math/escaping dinobros.

in the novel, his character dies, 

but Jeff wrote a "no-eaten-by-tRex" clause into his contract.

so instead you get to hear his nonsense for the entire film.

hazzah.

the best part of the movie is obviously the dinobros.

they are very scary & authentic looking for the 90's. 

(remember the 90's? good times)

this scarey dinobro is called tyrannosaurus or tRex

tyrannosaurus is latin for "tyrant lizard"

(therefore semper fidelis tyrannosaurus 

is latin for "always faithful tyrant lizard")

tRex was best known for his tiny arms and bad attitude....

and this was before the steroid era 

(it goes paleozoic era/mesozoic era/steroid era/kanye west era).

because of his short arms, he could not take his 

vinyl copy of Zen Arcade out of his record player.

which i believe is the reason he's so pissed in this scene.

i heard that they are going to make a fourth Jurassic Park movie.

it's apparently going to be about genetically mutated dinobros w/ guns.

they will be supplied with these guns by the secretary of defense 

(played by the Jon Voight) as a plan to stop al-qaeda.

but they will instead use them against us when we try to convince them 

that they need to implement a democratic govt./find jesus.

below is an artists rendering.

don't you agree that Nike should make a limited edition Jurassic Park Hi-Top Dunk

that uses the same color scheme as this hypebeast ford explorer?

sam neill = original hypebeast

 

can't sleep, afraid of "ray liotta"-faced dinobros.

wish goldblum was here.