jaycw.

jaycw 1982-2008

i can't think of a more fitting photo.

one year ago, Jason Christopher Wilhelm passed away.

he was twenty-five years old & he died from cancer.

Jay was more than just a drummer, he was my friend.

one of my best friends as a matter-of-fact.

sometimes, i feel like we were all robbed.

i know he was sick, but twenty-five is so young.

when i think about all the things that he's missed

& all the things i wish he were still here for,

it makes me mad that his time was up so quickly.

i don't believe in destiny, but i do believe that

we have a pre-determined amount of time on this earth

& the key is to make those most out of the time we have.

because we never know when our time is up.

new york city, 2006

Jay was one of those special types of people.

those people who we sometimes don't appreciate at first.

maybe it was because Jay never pulled any punches.

maybe it's because he stood behind his decisions, 

even when he was the only one who believed in it . 

maybe it's because we're all just a little bit too stubborn sometimes.

whatever the reason, it wasn't very long before we became like brothers.

when you spend days/weeks living in a van with someone,

driving from Minnesota to Cleveland to New York more times than i can remember now

you realize quickly that these are the people who feel the way you do.

Jay was such a driving force behind the Blueprint

that it will never ever feel the same way with anyone else.

i don't know what happens when our time is up on this planet

if you've read any of my other blogs, 

you'll know i'm not a very religious person.

but it's very comforting to me personally that when i die,

i'll be able to see him again wherever i end up.

i hope there's more to it then just rotting in the ground.

at least spiritually.

either way, i have faith that i will see my friend again someday.

& when we do meet again, we can enjoy ridiculing people from heaven.

the OtherSide, 2007

get it?

DinoBros: the Series

Episode II: Ooohh, Steve (click that)

Episode III: Ooooooooo, Dave (click that)

Episode IV: A Letter Home (click that)

Episode V: Erwin Spidermin (click that) (new)

Baron Von BlackSheep.

anytime, i get together with my family i feel like a failure.

and that's not a knock on them

i love them. & not just cause i have to.

(ok, sometimes only because i have to, as we start to get away from the blood relatives.)

let me put it this way...

i have two older sisters.

and they are both...

a.) married.

b.) mothers to beautiful children.

c.) have degrees from College they no longer use/need/care about.

d.) more fashionable that me.

e.) held in higher regard than me in the eyes of my family.

f.) all of the above.

i guess i've sorta become this odd running joke for the members of my family.

the smart-aleck brother who smokes to much weed.

the lazy cousin who left school to join a band.

the foul-mouthed son who only calls when he needs money.

the tallest member of a family of midgets. (that's only on the italian side though)

so am i surprised when no one shows any faith in me?

no necessarily, most of those accusations have merit.

that's not really the issue...

i know i'm not the only pothead in my family.

i know cause some of them taught ME how to do it.

and i guarantee i'm not the laziest one in the family. 

(you should see us on thanksgiving)

it's a blindly-judgmental hypocrisy to make me the target of my families collective ridicule, especially when most of the skeletons in my closet would run & hide if they knew what may be lurking behind the closed doors in some of my families homes.

maybe that's the key to family though.

the only people who really give it to us straight.

the people who aren't afraid to call us out on the carpet for our failings under the guise of love & support.

and no matter what we do, we can never really escape.

no matter where we go, it's never far enough.

no matter how far away we run, sometimes, we just have to come back.

because we love them for who they are.

because we hate them for what they make us see in ourselves

because we spend our lives outrunning there shadows

even as the shadows grow longer at sunset.

they are the only people we can't hide from.

"i can't hide chu' here!"

Control Yourself.

can't wait for blink & weezer.

up in the air about the fall out boys.

Mihi Cura Futuri.

Hunter College

695 Park Ave
New York, NY 10065

I've lived in the same city for 23 years.

that's not to say i've never left.

hell, i basically spend the last two years in a van.

but at the end of a 2-3 week tour, i still had to come back home.

and now, i'm going to have a new home.

last week i was accepted into Hunter College in Manhattan.

since it's too expensive, i'm gonna have to look for a place in BKLYN.

yeah...

i know.

a wanna-be hipster moving to Brooklyn.

what a shocker right?

(i guess i should start buying more v-necks.)

so, i'll be in NYC on the fall.

ain't that a kick in the ass?

maybe more people will start reading my blog....

the Black Mamba.

the Yankees are apparently terrible. (luv U Derek!)

the Bills are always terrible. (luv U Marshawn!)

the Sabres can't make the playoffs. (luv U Jason Pomenville a.k.a the Stinky Palm)

Liverpool FC can't catch Man U. (no one cares about soccer.)

thank god for Kobe Bryant.

(nice hyperdunks.)

he also speaks 5 languages.

needs to go back to #8/the Mini-fro.

dear kobe,

Let's get one more championship...

before my godson LeBron starts taking them to NY with him.

love,

dat' baron.

BONUS!!!

SHAQTASTIC PICTURE OF THE DAY.

miss you shaqtus.

(did i just turn into a sports blog?)