History Lessons II: the Reckoning

Before I begin...
I guess it's sort of ironic that my blog is named after 
the most famous presidential assassin in our nations history
& the top photo of this post is just "Giant Lincoln Head".
(it was between that title & "target practice"... HI-YO!)


Following my last post, i decided it was time to kick-start
my love of History again by putting down my textbooks & embarking 
on a NYC History Adventure which I came to refer to as...


Sam's "Historically-based" NYC Museum Adventure Day-Fest


...I figured i'd come up with a better name later on, 
but I never did.
(not surprisingly, I said the same thing about "JohnWilkesBlog") 


So, after my last class on friday
I took a lovely stroll across Central Park on
the way to the NY Historical Society.
It was absolutlely gorgeous out & the fresh air did wonders.
I've been very cooped up in the last 2 months.
Plus, not having any of my good bros around has left me
slightly depressed...


Depressed is the wrong word, 
but it's the first one that comes to mind.


To tell the truth, I was required to go the NYHS to see a 
John Brown/Harper's Ferry exhibition for my History 151 class.
But i had a very good time there, 
so much of a good time that i decided to continue my
day of historical entertainment by taking the short
walk down the street to my favorite museum of all-time,
the American Museum of Natural History.


this 6-hour learning extravaganza was vital to 
getting myself excited about history again 
& was honestly the most fun i've had so far, 
since I moved to Brooklyn.


So, let's take a look at the sights & sounds
(mostly sights, not so many sounds) 
of my day on 'Museum Mile'...

This male Iroquois indian is no joke...
of course, spending a few Upstate, NY winters 
in a longhouse was probably no laughing matter,
but i think that makes them even more badass.
... i think the next band i start is gonna be called 
Iroquois
it's just a 'kewl' word.

this is the fossil remains of a 
Mammut Americanum (American Mastodon).
I'm a sucker for fossils, so you should know
that the remainder of my photos are from the fossil halls. 
Anyhow, this mastodon was scary big & cool as hell.

"Well, that's just great... You hear that, Ed? 

Bears...
Now you're putting the whole station in jeopardy..."


I believe Cave Bears (Ursus Spelaeus) would rule the world. 
Seriously, thank god all the Cave Bears are extinct 
because that thing is terrifying.

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE!!!!

technically, it's a Prehistoric Elk (Megaloceros Giganteus) 

...I think.

either way, that's all i got for this one. 

next!

Don't be fooled, this is not prehistoric.

Shredder killed Leonardo & sent his remains to the museum.

R.I.P Leonardo (1984 - 2010)

Cowabunga,Dude. You will be missed.

This handsome fellow here is an Allosaurus (Allosaurus Fragilis).

I think about people in the times before paleontology was a real science

who must have found bones like this 

& been absolutely dumbstruck/terrified.

That's also my theory for why everyone 

believed in Dragons & Monsters in Medieval Europe. 

They would just find something like this in the ground

& it would get their imaginations stirring with thoughts of 

giant monsters out in the wilderness, 

guarding mountains of gold with their fiery breath & killing

any knights who would dare hunt them down.

Speaking of famous Knights,

one of the coolest things about the Allosaur fossil on display at AMNH

is that the pose is based directly on a painted by Charles R. Knight.

Knight was a Brooklyn-born artist whose paintings of dinosaurs

& various other prehistoric beasts were some of the earliest visuals 

the public would ever know of these strange & mysterious creatures.

here are a few more Knight images that i enjoy...

(note: this Tyrannosaurus is now considered anatomically incorrect)

So, let's recap what we learned here today:

- Sometimes, history needs to be experienced outside of textbooks

- Dinosaurs/Indians/Cavebears/Lincoln's Giant Head = Pretty Badass

- Leonardo is dead, Shredder killed him.

- MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE!!!!

- Life is better when it's spring in Central Park.

In Closing, everyone really should go visit 

the American Museum of Natural History, 

It truly is far too big to see in one day. 

I personally missed out on the "Hall of North American Mammals" 

as well as "the Hall of Oceanic Life"... 

But i guarantee i'll be back.

sooner than later.

...come on, it's full of dinosaurs!

...beets.

"Office Musik" (Clockwork Edit) - Lil' Wayne vs Dwight K. Schrute

"Is This Love" - Bob Marley & the Wailers

"I Want You to Know" - Dinosaur Jr.

"Ain't No Grave" - Johnny Cash

"Given to Fly" - Pearl Jam

History Lessons

Maybe I should quit trying to be a history teacher...


or maybe not, i don't really know anymore.


That's may be a tad bit too pessimistic though, 
I would honestly love to teach history for a living.
i just don't love being in college until i'm 27.
I'm too impatient to get the the end.


History teacher is on the short-list 
of jobs that i would be happy doing.
And believe me when I say, it truly is a short-list.


So, besides history teacher, here are a few assorted jobs
that i could happily do for the rest of my life.

1. Paleontologist - Besides my well-pronounced love for dinosaurs 
& the fact that, to this day, I still retain more dinosaur knowledge 
than i'll ever possibly be able to use 
outside of this profession anyhow, 
the idea of spending my time in the Great Basin, 
searching for bones in the hot, dusty sunshine all day appeals to me. 
I've been a rather high-stress person as of late, 
but i feel like i could relax out in the fresh air.

2. BaseballWriter/Sportswriter - Even though i may not look like it,
I harbor a deep love for all things sports. 
I do mean 'all-sports' too, (except NASCAR) 
I try not limit myself to just one. 


That being said, I love baseball so much that it boggles my mind.
I watch spring training games & read rumor sheets constantly.
I can spend hours reading the Yankees platoon outfield situation. 
And not only do i love to watch it & read about it, 
I absolutely love to talk about. 
 I'm always down to discuss the WHIP of NL Central starting pitchers, 
Or debate the importance of Batting Average as compared to OPS.


So i guess, it would be great to have a job that incorporates 
something i spend so much time reading about voluntarily, anyhow.  

3. Professional Wrester - This has more of a physical issue involved. 
I feel like If I had been born maybe... six inches taller, 
i would have already attempted to be a wrestler. 
I feel like i'm clever enough to come up with funny shit to say.
Plus, i'm well known to be able to take a good beating.


Oh, my wrestling name would be "Eddie Coffin"
and I would wear this mask.


I might buy that mask, regardless.

4. Eggplant Wizard - ...Beware my Eggplant Curse.




...also, beats.

"History Lesson, Pt. II" - Minutemen
"Stereo" (Remastered) - Pavement
"Plastic Beach (feat Paul Simon & Mick Jones)" - Gorillaz
"All the Money I Had is Gone" - the Deep Dark Woods
"Real Life" - Tanlines

8-Bit Dance Party!!! (Part 5)

Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! (NES)

Nintendo (1987)

Well after being stalled for the past two days 
by "IP Address-Related Computer Nonsense"
the 8-Bit Dance Party!!! continues with
an entry that will surely evoke some nostalgia
for the late 80's/early 90's

Mike Tyson's Punch-Out is a stand-out classic of the NES.
A perfect storm of simple, addictive gameplay 
& some incredibly funny & creative character designs.

Like my dude, Glass Joe...

Ok, So I guess Glass Joe is kind of a bitch.

How About Soda Popinski?
All goofed up on Soda-Pop, No doubt... or was it?
Originally, Soda Pop was named "Vodka Drunkenski"
(which could not possibly get any more racist)
But apparently, this was a little 'edgy' 
for all of us timid, American gamers...

Hilarious.
this is the only truly racist moment though.

Ok, So Piston honda is pretty racist too...

hmm, wow.
...racism galore.

Another personal favorite of mine has got to be King Hippo.
Specifically because of that awesome pre-fight dance...

Oh Nooooo!! Down Goes Hippo!!!
Little Mac, with speed & power beyond compare
puts the stamp on an overall embarrassing 
performance by "the King".
(It sounds better if you imagine Jim Lampley saying it...)

Nothing beats the pen-ultimate moment of the game, though.
As you're trainer leads you, in your manly pink track-suit,
down a brightly-light, 8-Bit version of the Manhattan Skyline.

EPIC.
Seriously, A Million Points for Iron Mike,
A man whose bite is truly far worse than his bark.

8-Bit Dance Party!!! (Part 4)

Castlevania II: Simon's Quest (NES)

Konami (1988)

I remember being sorta confused by this box as a little kid.
I'm sure it was trying to be scary, but i don't know...


I mean, just look at Dracula.
he's got like... a unibrow; it's all misty n' shit.


Also, who bedazzled Simon's body armor?
this game should be called...


Castlevania II: Stayin' Alive


I mean, this song is actually called "Bloody Tears"
(jokes aside, this song is bad-ass) 

This is commonly considered to be one of the most
broken & frustrating games that has ever been made.
Due in no small part,  this screen...

and it's companion screen,
the Morning Sun Has 
Vanquished the Horrible Night
which appear every 5-7 minutes to signify
the transfer from "Nighttime" into "Daylight".


You can not skip these scenes.
They will continue throughout the entire game.


As frustrating & confusing as the gameplay can be,
the music almost makes up for it.


this little gem is called "Monster Dance"

Castlevania has kept up it's tradition of 
strong original game music throughout the series.


So here is a bonus track from: 
Super Castlevania 4 (SNES)
Konami (1991)


This would go on to become a
trademark song of the Castlevania Series.

''Simon's Theme"

whip it good, ya'll.

8-Bit Dance Party!!! (Part 3)

the Legend of Zelda (NES)
Nintendo (1986)

We're not fooling around today.

the Legend of Zelda was ahead of it's time

in more ways than one.

It was the first video game to allow players to save their progress

directly to the cartridge & continue to play later.

This doesn't seem impressive today, obviously,

but in 1986, that was some cutting-edge shit.

Zelda was also one of the first games 

that did not utilize a linear storyline. Instead,

dropping our hero, Link in the middle of an open world

and letting players explore the Kingdom of Hyrule

on their own accord.

A few years ago, i had a Nintendo themed

Halloween Party at my apartment in Utica.

here is my former band 'the Blueprint'...

i especially like the 

random grouping of Link, Ryu,

(let's be honest, it's a bathrobe. Nick was just lazy) 

Sub-Zero, Raiden & Guile.

Apparently, we couldn't decide on one specific game,

so we went with a grab-bag sorta' deal.

miss those guys...

Link is one of two NES Characters

i've portrayed for Halloween.

this is the other one...

I looked almost exactly 

like my dad in this costume.

the Legend of Zelda was loaded with great music.

Besides the 'Intro' Theme & the 'Overworld' Theme

the 'Dungeon' theme is legendary, as well...

Long live the Triforce, bitches.