Pac-Man Fever...

this is absolutely hilarious.

everyone should go to Adam West's blog "Kicks-Mix"

& thank him for showing it to me.

(the link in on the right.)

yah, i posted two things in one day... 

what of it?

Outside Interference.

thanks for the picture, Jigs.

also, ya'll should thank Jigs for this...

MUTO (click that.)

It May Seem Like a Stretch...

heart ben folds.

can't wait for lollapalooza.

gonna get psychedelic and sing real loud.

the Sound of Settling.

i'm sure you're reading this.

for once, i hope that you are.

i'm writing this one for you//.

at what point in time, do we get so lonely

that we settle for anything close to us,

as opposed to something that's good for us?

let's not even go that far.

why do we settle on "the next best thing"?

maybe it's because we're lonely.

we become so accustomed to someone being there.

not someone special, just someone. 

loneliness is a sickness.

sometimes anything is better than nothing.

we don't wanna sleep in that big empty bed.

we don't wanna walk into the party by ourselves.

so we compromise for the sake of companionship.

we forgo authentic love &

we embrace the easy way out.

the quick answer, as opposed to the right answer.

why are we so afraid to be alone?

and believe me, i understand the concept 

of wanting someone else there.

someone to give you hope that things will get better.

someone to help drive you on the way to whatever

it is that this place has in store for us in the future.

but i want that person to actually make me feel that way

i want someone who makes me think...

"i will do whatever it takes to make you happy''

"i can do anything as long as you're here with me"

what i don't want is a plug-in girlfriend...

that's not how i meant that to come out.

(i honestly don't think i could afford the electric bill.)

i guess what i mean is that i don't want to have a stagnant

assembly line of girls who fill that role for me.

that's what high school was for.

i want to be floored.

i want the next girl i end up with to knock me off my feet.

and not with a Johnny Cage Sweep Kick, either.

of course that's kinda hott in a weird way.

i hope that i'm not lonely forever.

i know that i won't be, but it makes me terrified sometimes.

but is fear enough of a reason to settle on just anything?

let's just keep everything in perspective.

& try not to shit ourselves.

TOASTY!

Well, You Know Something, Mean Gean?...

his reaction afterwards is brilliant.

heart old school wrestlin'

miss "mean" gene oakerland.

my secret identity (shhhh.)

i'm going down to new york city on monday.

heard about an "open-casting call" for a new play.

think i might be perfect for the part.

this is the casting line:

Male. 16-20s. Must have a great rock tenor voice. 

Can be nerdy w/ understated sex appeal & a good sense of humor.

it just seemed too good not to go...

oh, by the way.

the role is for Peter Parker/Spider-man.

that's right...

it's a motherfuckin' Spider-man musical.

seriously.

i'm not kidding.

it's like somebody stole this idea from my brain & gave it to Bono.

this is gonna be the worst play in Broadway history. 

worst play in Broadway history.

i need to be a part of this somehow

if nothing else, i'm just gonna go try out for the sheer enjoyment

of standing in line with 20,000 Bizarro versions of myself.

imagine, thousands upon thousands of nerdy kids w/ emohair,

black-rimmed glasses & sweater vests.

Grand St. will be rockin' on monday night, ya'll.

Rivers Cuomo would be rolling over in his grave. (if he were dead.)

i just want an excuse to wear the costume.

such a bad ass costume.

don't you think the world is too boring?

the real world i mean.

the world of politics

& baseball

& taxes

& community college

& AnCo

& shitty jobs

& stupid mainstream girls who don't "get it"

yeah, i'm a big nerd, & i spend too much time

thinking about comic books/dinosaus/new alias for Topix

but that doesn't change the fact that i wish i could get

a day off from work because

Magneto flipped my car over w/ his mind...

a tyrannosaurus destroyed the mall...

zombies return from beyond el grave (el grave is mexi for "the grave").

i could write a whole blog specifically about 

the return of the zombies & my airtight plan 

to not only survive, but to thrive/turn-back the invansion.

however,  i'll save that for another time.

what i'd like to discuss is superpowers in general.

i'm gonna try & keep this limited to one power at a time.

so none of that Superman nonsense 

where he has like EVERY power.

oh, yeah, that's alotta fun to see.

a dude who no one can fuck with.

unless they have a green fuckin' rock from space.

this is gonna be a really agro blog.

i can already tell.

("Bro, look out, your fan-boy is showing")

did you see Superman Returns?

what a boring fucking movie...

Sam Raimi should kick Brian Singer's ass. 

side note.

Brandon Routh was better as that 

gay pornstar in Zak & Miri.

that's not a joke. 

he was hilarious

on to the powers. 

Super Speed:

simple question.

would you rather...

a) drive to the corner & buy a dutch in 2 minutes.

b) steal a cigar from a Cuban Nationalist in 6 seconds?

what a great power.

i would fuck with people all the time.

literally.

all.

the.

time. (time takes time. ya, know?)

i'd pull up behind people at red lights, get out, run over

& open there gas cap latches, then be back in my car before 

they even notice.

then i'd yell out the window at them 

about how dumb they are

for not closing there gas caps.

what a great power.

Freezing Stuff:

this is really a power of convenience/getting laid.

it's a power made to help you score chix.

you ever see that x-men movie?

you'll always have cold beers. (to get chix drunk)

you can turn ponds into ice rinks. (to get chix wet)

& you can make an ice slide to quickly escape. (from ugly chix.)

on a non-chix related note.

being able to turn in to ice would probably mean one of two things

1. you are ALWAY cold (cause you're made of ice)

2. you are NEVER cold (cause you're made of ice)

if it's the first option i'm not buying, otherwise i'm all in.

Teleportation:

ok, i guess i'll just say it.

fuck flying.

everyone wants to fly.

i ask people all the time what superpower they would have

& 9 times out of 10, it's flying.

come one america, let's be a little more creative.

wanting to fly is the most boring, standard superpower ever.

so, i'm gonna go with teleportation.

that would be the balls.

if you want a grape soda?

BLAM!

you're at the fridge

BLAM!

you're back in bed.

you can literally be the laziest person in the world.

since i'm already lazy, does that make me a superhero?

if i have this power, do i automatically have to look like this guy?

nightcrawler is looking very emo-core in this picture.

lots of powers to choose from.

there really are a million different super powers & junk.

as i'm mentioned in the past, if i had a choice of powers

i'd be able to transform into a 13ft. version on this.

fuckin' boss.

BONUS!!!

SHAQTASTIC PICTURE OF THE DAY.

the big shaqtus.

shaq is looking incredibly creepy in this picture, right?

like he just sexually molested that cactus.

or he plans on using this cactus sexually on you.

he still can't shoot free-throws.

my heart's aflame.

old song

great video.

tv on the radio is the balls.

wow.

No Homo.

starring:

Baron Von Breatbeat (as  Kid Dracula)

DJ Adam West (as Bulk Brogan)

Bromeo (as Master Blaster)

Dat' Wookie (as Walt "Clyde" Frasier-Crain)

John Zongrone (as himself)