You're Gonna Need a Bigger Boat.

anti-shark cage?
you go inside the cage?
cage goes in the water.
you go in the water.
shark's in the water.
our shark...
farewell & adieu to you, fair spanish ladies.
farewell & adieu, you ladies of spain.
for we've received orders for to sail back to boston.
& so nevermore shall we see you again.

oh hey, i didn't see you come in.
pull up a seat...

Every week should be Shark Week.

as a nerd for educational programming,
shark week is like the holy grail of television.
it really has everything that i ever need
in terms of shark-related education.

it's like i called the Discovery Channel
& said to the producers...
"Hey, can i see schools of mysterious
hammerhead sharks hunting for pray?"
yeah, we can do that.
"oh, well can i see survivors of shark attacks showing
off there wounds & telling there survival stories?"
no problem bulk brogan, we got you covered.
this is awesome! great white sharks leaping out of the water?
yes we can.... & yes we will.

well fuckin' alright.
that's change i can believe in.

slow ahead? i can go slow ahead.
why don't you come down here & chum some of this shit?

if you can't tell, my love of sharks
comes primarily from the 1975 classic Jaws
& the fact that i am absolutely terrified by open water.
both the film & the real thing.
(fun fact: i can't swim very well)
i think the idea of being in a sharks territory
with no way to defend myself is what gets me the most.
& yeah, i've hear all the advice...
oh, you can punch it in the nose & it'll go away.
just poke it in eye, it'll leave you be.
well guess what random person
with shark advice i didn't ask for.
i hope this happens to you.

yeah... you give that shark a good punch now, asshole.

a giant shark is not totally a fictional concept.
in prehistoric times, ancestors of modern sharks,
such as the Megalodon, grew up to 59 feet long
& were apex predators of the Milocene Era Oceans.

now, i'm sure that there are no Megalodons left.
but the oceans are deep & i can't hold my breath.
so, i'm gonna stay on the safe side & chill on the boardwalk.
maybe get myself a hotdog/lamb gyro.
oh yeah...

love the boardwalk.