Godzilla vs. Ed Rooney

fuckin epic right?
more like epic fail.

From 1978-1981
the Hanna-Barbera company produced a series of Godzilla cartoons
to cash in on the growing popularity of the franchise with all the kiddies.
at the time, the 30-minute cartoon was run in
conjunction with other famous
Hanna-Barbera characters such as...
-Hong-Kong Phooey
-Dynomutt
-Jana of the Jungle
-the Harlem Globetrotters...
yeah, that makes a whole bunch of sense right?

all things considered, it's not a bad cartoon.
but it doesn't have much to do with the Godzilla movies.
the general concept revolves around a team of
scientists & a random kid who travel around in a boat
lookin' for crazy shit.
for whatever reason, they have a button that makes Godzilla
appear & beat the shit out of whatever he finds.
my major issues with the series, even as a kid, was that it
made no effort to make it look like the Toho series of movies.
there are no famous Toho monsters for Godzilla to battle,
just random stock monsters from around the world.
Godzilla doesn't breath blue-radiation, now it's just straight fire.
plus for whatever reason, he has eye lasers....
yeah, ...like Superman.
but believe me,
there's another reason i hated this cartoon as a kid.


oh yeah.
fuckin' Godzooky...
the creators apparently wanted a "cute, cuddly" version
of Godzilla, so what we got was Godzooky.
basically, the bastard child of Godzilla & Scooby-Doo
Godzooky is by far the most annoying character on the show.
Jar Jar Binks thinks Godzooky sucks for god's sake.
i'm not surprised as i get older why the concept
of a Godzilla cartoon never took off.


cause honestly,
Godzilla fans like me only needed one Godzilla cartoon...

classic.

on a side note...
i figured out a way they could have made
the 1998 tristar Godzilla movie not only watchable, but awesome...
make it a sequel to Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
think about it for a second...
Ferris has grown up & now works for the Nuclear Regulatory Commission.
he comes to New York after taking a long overdue sick day.
Pan to the city where we discover that
Sloan is now a struggling TV reporter in Manhattan
& Cameron is her bumbling cameraman/platonic-bro.
They met up for a reunion lunch,
when suddenly a shitty looking, badly animated Godzill-iguana
show's up to ruin a parade downtown.
thankfully, Ed Rooney has quit his job as a principle
& now works for the French Secret Service.
Ed leads Ferris, Cameron & Sloan in a daring chase through the city
(obviously using Camerons' Fathers recently purchased replacement Ferrari)
until, when all seems lost, Jennifer Grey shows up to Save Ferris.
(get it?! Save Ferris?!...nevermind.)
she grows to enormous proportions & kicks Godzilla in the face.
Godzilla stumbles into the water & never returns.
Ferris & Sloan run off to get married.
Cameron goes back home to wait for his dad & tell him about his car.
Jennifer Grey goes back to having no career
Ed Rooney gets arrested for kiddie porn
...and there is much rejoicing.

we can call it Ferris Bueller's Day On (As a Dinosaur Hunter...)

either way, it sounds like a far more interesting film, right?
sounds like a million-dollar idea if you ask me.
i know i'd go see that movie.

you know what...
Godzilla is just misunderstood.
he's not evil,
he just wants to get his tail wet.