My mom loves board games...
Even to this very day, she buys at least one family board game
every year for the holidays & everyone
is required to play in and enjoy it.
Naturally, this meant i had a whole lot of board games
when i was a kid and to be honest, some of them where pretty
random, to say the least...
So, we're gonna take a trip down memory lane this morning
& take a look at....
Sam Famolaro's
Ten Most Memorable Board Games
from Back in the Day...
10. the Godzilla Game
Mattel (1978)
Let's be honest...
did you think this list wasn't
going to contain at least one Godzilla reference?
I remember buying this game at a garage sale for $3
when i was a little kid, even thought it didn't work.
i really just wanted the box.
I also like how they tried to edit this pic to make
it looks like Godzilla is just bro'ing out with these kids
it looks like Godzilla is just bro'ing out with these kids
...
while eating a spaceship.
and these kids are just totally oblivious to him
cause the game is clearly way too much fun.
cause the game is clearly way too much fun.
9. Tornado Rex
Parker Bros (1991)
Yeah, kinda random right?
I don't think i remember any of my other friends
having this game, as a kid.
And i don't remember anyone wanting to buy it
once they played it at my house, either.
Here is the premise in a nutshell.
You play as 'generic explorer' walking up a plastic hill
until Tornado Rex (basically a C-List Tazmanian-Devil knock-off)
comes out of his cave to
FUCK. YOU. UP!!!!
like so...
That's literally the whole game.
hazzah.
8. Happy Days
Parker Bros (1976)
The only thing that matters in the Happy Days game
is to show Fonzie how coooool you really are.
And how do you do that?
well, you collect 'cool points' my good sir.
What's a cool point, you say?
that's actually irrelevant...
And how does one go about acquiring said cool points?
why, you polish Fonzie's motorcycle of course.
...Aaaaaaay!
on a side note, unless you enjoy being ridiculed unmercifully
DO NOT play the Happy Days game with these men...
...Heeeeey Neeeeeerds!
7. Crossfire
Milton Bradley (1971)
I could sit here & explain to you how
Crossfire works & why it's the balls...
but this is so much better than anything i could write myself...
Crossfiyaaaaaaaaaah!!!
brilliant.
Did Don Dokken direct that commercial?
that's the best thing, I ever saw.
6. Pop-O-Matic Trouble
Kohner Bros (1965)
Alright! Now we're talking.
My neighbor Kaitlyn used to come over at least twice a week
to play Trouble with me.
why?
cause it was fucking fun, that's why.
Trouble, however is one of those games,
much like Sorry or Monopoly,
that needs to be played with people you have patience with
because you WILL get annoyed after you've been bumped
back to the start for the fifth straight time by your stupid
older sister who keeps picking on you & stealing your dinosaur
fruit snacks, cause her & her friends got high at the mall earlier.
...
you know what, let's just move on.
5. the Grape Escape
Parker Bros (1992)
Ahh, the Great Escape.
The game that made me a wino.
This game was kinda like Mouse Trap in the way
that i don't remember ever actually playing the game,
so much as just building the traps
& killing the Play-Doh Grape people.
doesn't this seem a little similar to the game 'Splat!'?
let's compare the two....
hmmmm....
moving on.
4. Dizzy Dizzy Dinosaur
Pressman Toys (1987)
This game holds a special place in my heart
for a variety of reasons.
1. It has a dinosaur in it.
2. I like dinosaurs.
...that's it actually.
Surprisingly, I still have a the wind-up dinosaur
and it still works.
So well, in fact, that the Dinosaur
(I'd imagine his name is probably Dizzy)
made an appearance in the 'DinoBros' videos.
3. Nightmare (a.k.a Atmosfear)
A Couple 'A Cowboys PTY (1991)
Oh man, i used to love this game.
If you're familiar with the game Nightmare
you're already aware of how terrifying it is
with it's live-action video host, the Gatekeeper.
if you're NOT familiar with the game
please, do yourself a favor & watch the first few minutes of
the video, that you're required to watch as you play the game.
...YES, MY GATEKEEPER!!!!!
oh my god.
i almost shit my pants that was so scary...
ok, so once you've moved out of the golden age-range
for a game like this, say 11-14 years old, it's comes off as kinda hokey.
This is a hard game to find now-a-days, but if you do come across it
& you have a few good bros who are wiling to play with the lights off
and not take the game too seriously, it's actually pretty entertaining.
2. Shark Attack
Milton Bradley (1988)
As you may know, i'm both terrified & intrigued by sharks.
When I was a little kid, i was so terrified by the movie 'Jaws'
that when i'd play this game & when the shark started to catch up with
my fish, i would get legitimately frantic.
...of course, i was a little nerd.
on a side note, Shark Attack wins my award for 'best game jingle'.
"Shark! Shark! Shark Attack.
This shark eats like a maniac."
Wow.
That's spectacular.
That could not have possibly taken them
more than ten minutes to come up with.
Bravo, Milton Bradley. Bravo.
and god forbid you LOSE at Shark Attack...
"here's to swimmin' with bow-legged women..."
but, by now you must be asking..."Sam, what game can possible be better than Shark Attack?"
well get ready, cause it's a classic...
1. Mall Madness
Milton Bradley (1988)
but i had two older sisters
and boy, did they love to spend fake money.
And fuck all that 'counting', like in Monopoly.
Counting cash is for suckers.
Mall Madness cuts out all the bullshit &
just gives you a fuckin' credit card.
That's right, kids.
Learn horrible money-managing skills at a young age.
seriously, just watch this...
Mall madness is the reason that the
terrorists hate America.
catch ya'll later.
