the TV Music Blog

Since I've been bringing back long-dead blogs lately, I figured the time was right to bring this one back as well. 

For a long time, I've debated with friends/co-workers/nerds/etc. 

about what the single greatest TV theme song of all time is.

Guess what I found out?

I found out it's utterly impossible to pick one. 

There is no point in trying.

There are too many great songs. 

No one will ever agree on a single right answer.

There are just too many determining factors.

Does a news program count the same as a prime-time network sitcom?

Or a dramatic premium cable show?

What was the impact of the song at the time?

Does it hold up?

Did it become popular on it's own merit?

What about professional sports? 

Sporting events always have great original music.

Ok, maybe not always.

That being said, I'm going to take a crack at it.

I am, however, going to establish a few rules for myself to follow.

Rule No. 1: No Sports, No Cartoons, No Game Shows, No News Programming.

- I could probably do an entire list dedicated to each one specifically, so we're going to eliminate them from contention for now. The only eligible shows will be live action half-hour/hour long dramatic or comedy programming. 

Rule No. 2: Only Original Music, No Licensed Songs.

 - To make things interesting, I'm only going to choose theme songs written specifically for the show in question. So, as much as I love the Sopranos and Golden Girl and Friends, don't expect to see any of them on the list.

Ok, Fuck it. 

Yeeeeeah.

Good shit.

Miss you, Tony.

Ok, let's get down to business, shall we?

Sam Famolaro's

"It's Impossible to Create, 

But I'm Going to Try, Anyhow"

Top Ten TV Themes of All-Time

Honorable Mention No. 1:

"the Satellite of Love Theme"

Mystery Science Theater 3000

Comedy Central/Sci-Fi Channel (1988-1999)

I really wanted to get this on the list somewhere, hell anywhere,

but I just didn't feel right bumping anything else off.

Also, it's doesn't really fall under my self-implied rules.

(see Rule No. 1)

Still, it is one of my personal favorites which means

I'm gonna rank it, anyways.

Honorable Mention, No. 2: 

"Theme from the A-Team"

the A-Team

NBC (1983-1987)

EXPLOSIONS!!!

Composer Mike Post, is well known 

for his work on other classic TV theme shows as well, 

including Law & Order,

NYPD Blue and The Rockford Files. 

Dude totally got around. 

Honorable Mention, No. 3:

"Theme from the X-Files"

the X-Files

FOX (1993-2002)

Is it blasphemous to call this one over-rated?

Well, guess what.

I don't care. 

It's totally overrated. 

Now, Let's get to the Countdown.

10. "Three's Company Theme"

Three's Company

ABC (1977-1984)

This is basically "TV Sitcom Theme Music 101". 

Simple, recognizable, classic.

It's just been beaten to death over the years.

(Thanks a lot, Nick-at-Nite/TV Land)

Honestly, it annoys me at this point.

RIP John Ritter, though. You were the man.

9. "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air"

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

NBC (1990-1996)

Ah yes, the simpler days before Will Smith was ruined by Scientology.

(Hate you, Tom Cruise. Except for Top Gun. And Days of Thunder)

The nice thing about this one is that even if you've never seen

a single episode of Fresh Prince (blasphamy!) 

the theme song brings you up

to speed with the shows central plot.

Solid work, William. Solid work. 

8. "Theme to Night Court"

Night Court

NBC (1984-1992)

I remember exactly two things about Night Court.

First, The theme song was amazing.

Secondly, Markie Post was a total smokeshow.

Bonus points for use of the saxophone.

You gotta love those woodwinds.

7. "Welcome Back"

Welcome Back, Kotter

ABC (1975-1979)

Producer Alan Sachs wanted his new show "Kotter" to have a theme song 

that sounded like popular 70's musical act, The Lovin' Spoonful.

So they hired John Sebastian. 

John Sebastian, who was in The Lovin' Spoonful.

How Convenient.

This song actually made it to No. 1 on the Billboard charts in 1976,

making it possibly the most commercially successful theme song on the list.

This once again proves that the 1970's as a whole were 

FUCKING. INSANE. 

6. "Charles in Charge"

Charles in Charge

CBS (1984-1985)

Come on, how could this not make the list?

Everyone loves Scott Baio.

Who DOESN'T want Charles in Charge of them?

I certainly do. He's a motivator.

He seems like the kind of guy who exudes leadership. 

A man who says "Yeah, I hang out with Willie Aames. What of it?"

Side note, Whatever happened to Nicole Eggert?

She was a total fox.

5. "Where Everybody Knows Your Name"

Cheers

NBC (1982-1993)

Yeah, I know.

This should probably be higher on the list.

Maybe even at Number One. 

But guess what?

It's my god-damned list and I'll do what i please, thank you very much.

Plus, it seemed a little bit too easy.

I personally didn't care for Cheers as much after Coach and Diane left.

I always felt like Woody and Rebecca 

were pretty poor replacements, although people do 

seem to love that Woody Harrelson.

Still, It may be the most iconic theme on the entire list.

So, it's got that going for it.

Which is nice.

4. "Suicide is Painless"

M*A*S*H

CBS (1972-1983)

Sometimes you don't just listen to a song.

Sometimes you can actually feel it.

Sometimes the music builds up in your stomach

and, in turn, enhances the effect on your psyche. 

When I was younger, this theme would do that to me.

I used to watch it over dinner with my mom.

It was ideal for the emotional range the show presented. 

It was both sad and haunting, yet memorable enough

to leave you humming the tune after it was all over. 

A perfectly complimentary piece of music.

3. "Falling (Twin Peaks Theme)"

Twin Peaks

ABC (1990-1991)

Twin Peaks is such an odd show.

It's a drama and a comedy and a head-trip

and a soap opera all rolled into one and plopped down

dead in the center of the Pacific Northwest.

Written by show creator David Lynch and long time partner

Angelo Badalamenti, the song is strange and odd and eerie.

Add to that the haunting, slow buildup to the dramatic climax

and you've got a theme that parallels the action of the show. 

Just listen.

It's SO GOD DAMNED DRAMATIC!

Geez.

Fucking David Lynch, man. 

2. "Brand New Life"

Who's the Boss?

ABC (1984-1992)

I absolutely loved Who's the Boss?

It's one of my all-time favorite guilty pleasures. 

That being said, and even with the presence 

of the always hilarious, always pitch-perfect Tony Danza,

I still can't comprehend how this show 

ran for eight full seasons.

I mean, Judith Light? Really?

God love her, but she always looked like a skinny man in drag.

I was always a 'Mona'-guy myself.

This is one of the few TV theme song that I can still remember the lyrics to, 

even though it hasn't been syndicated for a long time. 

Of course, I do own the DVD of season one.

So that probably has something to do with it...

DANZA!

1. "Dramatic Twilight"

The Twilight Zone

CBS (1959-1964)

When we talk about  makes for a great television theme song, 

the single most important aspect is how well the music 

prepares the audience for what they are about to witness. 

With this in mind, 

The Twilight Zone theme is a masterpiece.

As Rod Serling's voice rises over the jarring sound effects and 

visceral tones of composer Gregor Narholz's chilling score, 

you cannot help but feel that you are indeed 

entering another demension.

It's brilliant. It's perfect. It's timeless.

It is everything you want in a TV Theme song.

And that's why it's at number one. 

Ok, Haters. 

If you have complains/comments about the list

(Especially my inexcusable slight of the 'Happy Day's Theme")

Get at me on the twitter-sphere at 

@sfDOOM

and let me know what you think.

By the way, 

   It's good to be back.

Hills Like White Elephants

Two new song in two days!?
apparently, i'm feeling very generous.

this one is a little more fleshed out than 'At the Buzzer'
and i think the guitar sounds better too.

it sounds better on headphones no matter how you slice it.


'Hills Like White Elephants' - the Informers

At the Buzzer

I don't know what's up with all the basketball references,

but it helped me get through my writers block.

brand new FREE MUSIC for all my good bros.

'At the Buzzer' [scratch vocals] - the Informers

Brooklyn's Finest (feat. Eddie Vedder & Benjamin Rooney)

(thanks for the picture, kev.)

yeah. 

ok, i get it.

so, i basically stopped blogging.

... & the Ray Liotta thing was thrown together specifically 

so i could get the blog total up to fifty instead of fourty-nine.

so sue me, i like round numbers.

this isn't going to be much better than 'Liotta-Gate'

but i figured i'd update ya'll

on the Life & Times of Sam Famolaro

-- I moved into a small place in the Fort Greene section of Brooklyn about 2 weeks ago. thus my documented relocation from Utica to West Nyack to Brooklyn is finally complete, for now. 

(see: A Tale of Three Cities) 

It's been very cool & quite relaxing so far, it's a hundred times better to commute on the subway than it is to commute on the bus in the mornings, but i desperately need my loan check to come in & i need to find a steady source of income cause Mr. Famolaro is basically living in a state of destitution at the moment. 

-- One of the main reasons for neglecting the blog falls simply on the fact that i have attempted to throw myself back into the two projects I feel more passionately about, my music project 'the Informers' & my attempt at writing a novel, 'Greene Disease'. I'm happy to say i've made more progress in the 2 weeks since i've been in Brooklyn than i have in the 6 months i was in Nyack, mostly because Brooklyn caters to my strange work hours more effectively.

the Informers:

   i'll hopefully have some basic tracks of scratch vocals & basic instrumentation up here for download by the end of next week, so look forward to brand new free tracks up very soon.

Greene Disease:

   i'm was questioning whether or not to post 'Greene Disease' in periodic segments on the blog, or to keep it quiet until more work is finished. More likely, 'Greene Disease' will stay out of the sun until it's finished, which could be anywhere from another 1-2 years. It's far more likely that 'Invisible Sheep' will turn into the blogs main source of serial fiction writing, but for now 'Greene Disease' has been the main creative focus of my life. If anyone would like to read what i've written so far, just eMail me at famolaro15@yahoo.com and i'll send you what i have in exchange for constructive criticism.

-- that's all i have for now, but i was looking around last night & i found a whole bunch of these Pearl Jam fliers from various shows around the US & Europe. Pearl Jam always has really impressive flyer design, so i figured i'd share some of my favorites with ya'll.

   

                                         

                                              

           

       

                                              

                                              

                                                    

          

       Later Gators...

Invisible Sheep: Pt. I

i'm not sure what this will be just yet.

maybe it'll end up being something larger

but for now, it's just something to keep my

mind from exploding during my finals.

enjoy.

Do Survivors Dream of 
Invisible Sheep?
(Part 1: Stand in the Place Where You Live...)

:by Sam Famolaro

            They said maybe it was some sort of biological weapon. Some kind of terrorist super-virus meant to decimate a large portion of the United States; meant to be an “extinction” kind of virus. They said that the terrorists under-estimated how quickly and efficiently the virus would spread. Some people said that it mutated after it was released and became a rampant epidemic like this world had never know.

Some people said it had already spread across the whole planet.

Some people said that it was the Rapture.

Either way, all those people are dead.

To be honest, I don’t remember anything about the so-called “attacks”. Everything I know now is just facts I learned from skimming through whatever newspapers were lining the empty streets of Sandusky, Ohio. I woke up after the car crash in the ICU at the Veteran’s Hospital downtown and my mind has been hazy at best. Everything seems to hum with warm colors and fuzzy translucent outlines. I had only been in the coma for a week, but the way things looked when I regained consciousness I might as well have been in a coma for years. It must have taken me a good two weeks to fully accept that every person on the planet whom I had ever loved was dead; lying in a pool of vomit & blood in the same spot they were when the virus took hold of their central nervous systems. Needless to say, I had very little interest in staying in Sandusky. I needed to know if anyone else is left.

So, on the morning of September 16^th, 2010, I packed all the items I felt I could carry into a backpack and my messenger bag, and left Sandusky, Ohio on bicycle heading Northeast. In my messenger bag, I carried a small thin black screwdriver and a laptop computer. At this point the computer is utterly useless, I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to access an kind of electricity, but I can probably take it apart and find use for the parts. And the screwdriver, well… you remember that episode of the Twilight Zone where the guy survives the atomic bomb and goes to the abandoned library to read all the books he never had time to read before the bomb but then he drops his glasses on the library steps when he starts the first book and breaks them? I figure I might as well be prepared; my glasses have the tools necessary to be rebuilt. Faster. Stronger. We have the technology. Plus, besides the small revolver I stole from my old man’s deserted house, that tiny screwdriver is all I have to defend myself from whatever’s left. I don’t believe in zombies or anything, but I’ve read enough “doomsday” novels to know I should be prepared for anything from mutant motorcycle gangs to triffids. In the side pocket, I have a copy of Gustav Meyrink’s the Golem, which I stole from the abandoned Barnes & Nobles in Cleveland, and a half-empty box of bullets. A black Bic lighter, along with a pack of American Spirits I took off of a corpse two towns back, are stowed away in the inside pocked of my jacket. Buried in my backpack are both a glasses case full of glasses and a glasses case full of marijuana. I’ve been allowing myself 45 minutes of music (or one full joint, whichever comes first) a day, but sooner or later, my iPod is going to die and I’ll have to deal with the silence. Today’s album was Remain in Light by the Talking Heads. More than anything I can foresee, I think the silence is what scares me the most. David Byrne keeps singing about how the days go by. I can’t begin to describe the hours spent collecting the tens of thousand of illegally pirated songs that are currently on death row on my rapidly fading iPod. In retrospect, it all seems like such a waste of time, but before the “Rapture,” it was my only real obsession to speak of. Hanging from a clip in my messenger bag is a police-issue Mag-light and a small canteen. I have a heavy scarf, a gold & scarlet San Francisco 49ers beanie hat and an emergency blanket in my backpack in case it gets too cold to sleep at night. Not like I’ve been able to sleep anyways.

If you’ve found this, that means I’m not alone. So, that would be a plus. I made my way as far east as Binghamton, NY before I realized I was fooling myself thinking anyone would be left alive in Manhattan. If my calculations are correct, and I’m sure they’re not incredibly far off, it’s December 17^th, 2010. It’s starting to get too cold and too icy to continue going north on bicycle, so I’ve decided to head south to a more reasonable climate. I don’t know quite where I’m going to go, but at the moment, I think I’m heading for Virginia. If anyone is still alive and following my trail, I will do my best to attempt to lead you south. I am not ready to give up hope.

Keep strong and remember

that survival of the species is paramount.

I will continue searching for survivors.

Hopefully. If you’ve found this, you’re not too far behind.

Paul Berger

December 17^th, 2010

Trenton, New Jersey

heading due south on Route 95 South

toward Virginia Beach, Virginia.

the informers (an introduction...)

ok, so i guess this is my

first official discussion on the subject.

since i've been at Hunter, i've been unable to play

guitar/sing with a band as much as i've grown accustomed to.

all i've been really been able to do is record

new music on GarageBand by myself.

out of these sessions, i created

a little side project for myself called

the informers

now, i'm very aware that

because i'm only one person, it should be called

"the informer" or "the informant"

but it just didn't sound as good.

...kinda like "the Lone Rangers"

''how can you be lone if there's three of you?"

- ian the shark

that's not really important though...

what is important is that sooner or later,

i'm gonna have to start auditioning

future "informers"to play live with,

and the way it looks

i'm gonna have to be ready before

christmas vacation...

more info on that later....

that being said, let's look at the actual music...

IMPORTANT NOTE:

because of the nature of the tracks,

they are best enjoyed through headphones

as are all the tracks i write.

this is due to the limitations i have in terms of equipment.

so please bare that in mind while listening...

Forget the Golden Times

this is the main project that

i'm working on as the informers.

more than anything else,

i really need to get to a real studio

to record vocals & make some better drum samples.

i'm sure i'll get sued for the artwork choice.

here's a few free tracks for my loyal readers...

Fossils (demo vocals) - download

In Bocca Al Lupo (no vocals) - download

Also...

by absolute dumb luck, i've gotten myself attached

to a Christmas CD done by local musicians in Nyack.

so, i did some recording on a whim last night

& pumped out a wintery dance gem for the Holidays.

i may or may nor make a whole christmas EP,

we'll see how long i can stay in the spirit.

the Dear Santa EP

so guess what?

you get that for free too!

(who love's ya? Uncle Sammy, that's who...)

(Christmas) Baby, Please Come Home - download

Into the Deep [a mediocre attempt at poetry.]

i am a monster...

not the kind of monster that ends worlds

but the kind that ruins lives.

an unseen beast lurking beneath the skin of a man.

maybe you have seen me before

somewhere deep inside yourself

in the places you dare not look;

buried beneath acrid smoke & heavy breathing.

or maybe i am alone

maybe i'm one of a kind or simply one of a few.

in constant struggle to keep it inside

& shield the ones i love from it's destructive capabilities.

and so, with head held low

i hide in a crowd of infinite numbers

safe in the cover of anonymity

constantly holding back the darkness that i know lurks within.

...until i reach the water.

and suddenly, all attempt at restraint become futile

as my mind goes blank & my darker side gains control.

calm yourself & accept that what you see before you is real

& hold back everything that clouds your emotions.

only you can stop this looming premonition.

make sharp your sword & make clean your spirit

& prepare to do what is necessary...

the time is at hand for you to accept

that you'll never amount to the thoughts in your head

& before you go searching for names in the stars

remember who showed you how lucky you are.

Sir Charles Raids Again.

it's boggles my mind how i've never

blogged about this before now.

it's literally everything on the planet i like.

godzilla

nikes

& sir charles.

solid gold.

speaking of which...

Godzilla Kicks!!!!!

(click that.)

DinoBros: the Series

Episode II: Ooohh, Steve (click that)

Episode III: Ooooooooo, Dave (click that)

Episode IV: A Letter Home (click that)

Episode V: Erwin Spidermin (click that) (new)

Monsters from Outer Space!!! (a sonnet.)

it had been a long and exciting 6 months, cool local club.

and during that time, you had done very well.

your DJ was alright and your drinks were always stiff.

but on this night, things have changed.

and i fear they have changed for the worst.

now, where i once saw beautiful altbabies,

i am greeted by an infinite sea of bro'dom.

gone is the chance of hearing a talkingheads/mgmt/chromeo trilogy.

now, all i hear is the sound of tribal drums and mid-level rap.

what happened cool local bar? 

how can this possibly be?

you lied to me, you told me it would always be this way.

you told me that you were all i'd ever really need... 

a real meaningful place where i could forge authentic relationships 

and maybe catch a handski from a cute girl in a scarf.

instead i stand on the dance floor.

surrounded by my true bros and we drink to your demise.

it has been a great run cool local bar, but now it seems it is over.

the monsters from outer space have made you their new mating ground.

i guess we'll just have to follow the DJ to his next bar

and make fun off you in secret for no longer being authentic.