go to sleep.

this happens to me every single night.

why can't i fall asleep?

i should be able to fall asleep like a normal person.

i know that i should be in bed right now,

instead i'll procrastinate & just write about how i can't fall asleep.

i should go to sleep.

but i won't, i never do.

i don't remember the last time

i've had a good night's sleep.

sometimes i'll work on Green Disease

most of the time i'll watch lateNight/earlyMorning television

& read pitchfork/shaq's twittwer.

anything but sleep.

i'll think about meaningful relationships from the past

i'll think about how boss it would be if i could

transform into a 13ft. tall MiniGodzilla.

anything but sleep.

sleep is the enemy.

Nas told me that he never sleeps.

sleep is the cousin of death.

and i believe him.

he had like 5 good albums.

 why can't i fall asleep?

       why can't i fall asleep?

            why can't i fall asleep?              

              ...why can't i fall asleep?

maybe it's just that i never really wake up?

do i need adderall?

that might solve all my issues.

i've heard that prescriptions drugs do that.

if i get a perscription to adderall will i feel better?

maybe.

i need to go to sleep. 

DinoBros.

went to go see a free showing of Jurassic Park at the local CC today.

for those of you who don't know about this film 

(it's kind of an indie film, i think wes anderson directed it)

this film is about animals called dinobros that lived a long time ago.

if you've never seen Jurassic Park, here is a few things you should know.

Jurassic Park is the greatest film in the history of american cinema.

they made 2 sequels

they are the 2nd & 3rd greatest films in the history of american cinema.

it stars Sam Neill (Event Horizon, Bicentennial Man) as a dinobro 

expert who goes to a sweet new amuesment park 

that has rides and dinobros and junk

thankfully, he knows alot about dinobros and that helps him survive 

when the dinobros emancipate themselves/start getting vulnerable.

that and his authentic flannel (paleo-plaid?).

it is a well known that dinobros will not kill anything wearing flannel.

this serious deebag is Jeff Goldblum (Nine Months, Deathwish III).

in the movie, he plays a snarky, altjew mathematician, 

which as you can see, is quite a stretch for him.

i guess his black justice jacket & deep cut v-neck shirt

help him with math/escaping dinobros.

in the novel, his character dies, 

but Jeff wrote a "no-eaten-by-tRex" clause into his contract.

so instead you get to hear his nonsense for the entire film.

hazzah.

the best part of the movie is obviously the dinobros.

they are very scary & authentic looking for the 90's. 

(remember the 90's? good times)

this scarey dinobro is called tyrannosaurus or tRex

tyrannosaurus is latin for "tyrant lizard"

(therefore semper fidelis tyrannosaurus 

is latin for "always faithful tyrant lizard")

tRex was best known for his tiny arms and bad attitude....

and this was before the steroid era 

(it goes paleozoic era/mesozoic era/steroid era/kanye west era).

because of his short arms, he could not take his 

vinyl copy of Zen Arcade out of his record player.

which i believe is the reason he's so pissed in this scene.

i heard that they are going to make a fourth Jurassic Park movie.

it's apparently going to be about genetically mutated dinobros w/ guns.

they will be supplied with these guns by the secretary of defense 

(played by the Jon Voight) as a plan to stop al-qaeda.

but they will instead use them against us when we try to convince them 

that they need to implement a democratic govt./find jesus.

below is an artists rendering.

don't you agree that Nike should make a limited edition Jurassic Park Hi-Top Dunk

that uses the same color scheme as this hypebeast ford explorer?

sam neill = original hypebeast

 

can't sleep, afraid of "ray liotta"-faced dinobros.

wish goldblum was here.

it's all about the music, ya'll.

hey everyone, Uncle Sammy needs your help!

i wanna be creative & trendy, so i think i need to start a band.

i don't wanna be in just any band though, i wanna be in the most bloggworthy band in the world, or maybe just the newyork/newjersey area.

but it's so hard to pick what kinda music i wanna play.

i wanna write something that all the young punks can enjoy, 

but i kinda want it to sound like Hot Chip... or Hot Water Music.

i have bands on my iPod that i believe i like only for there names

i don't necessarily dislike them, i just REALLY like the way they look on my artist list.

a short sampling...

- No Age

- Buena Vista Social Club

- the Pains of Being Pure at Heart

- Lo Fi Funk

- Bruce Springsteen

I guess i could just start a shitrock cover band

we can play nickleback & hinder covers for the elderly rockers 

at the local OTB/country-themed bar on the edge of town.

make a bunch of cash and maybe go home with a leather-clad suburban cougar...

let's do it, let's get down with the sickness!

i don't know though...

it's gotta be hard to be a revolutionary force in the world of meaningful beats.

cause it's up to us as songwriters to mold the sound of music for a future generation of tweens.

we will write the songs that the next generation 

will listen to while they try to get to first base on prom night.

i wish i knew everything i know about the world now while i was still in middle school.

i'll figure something out, it can't possible be that hard.

if all else fails, i'll rap over the tracks i made on garageband last night.

Drinking Out of Cups

yeah, i know it's an old video.

it's still funny though.

i must quote this at least 5 times a day.

Monsters from Outer Space!!! (a sonnet.)

it had been a long and exciting 6 months, cool local club.

and during that time, you had done very well.

your DJ was alright and your drinks were always stiff.

but on this night, things have changed.

and i fear they have changed for the worst.

now, where i once saw beautiful altbabies,

i am greeted by an infinite sea of bro'dom.

gone is the chance of hearing a talkingheads/mgmt/chromeo trilogy.

now, all i hear is the sound of tribal drums and mid-level rap.

what happened cool local bar? 

how can this possibly be?

you lied to me, you told me it would always be this way.

you told me that you were all i'd ever really need... 

a real meaningful place where i could forge authentic relationships 

and maybe catch a handski from a cute girl in a scarf.

instead i stand on the dance floor.

surrounded by my true bros and we drink to your demise.

it has been a great run cool local bar, but now it seems it is over.

the monsters from outer space have made you their new mating ground.

i guess we'll just have to follow the DJ to his next bar

and make fun off you in secret for no longer being authentic.