Porkchop Sandwiches.

night hawk city.

HaWK//.

i have a few bad habits.

ok. i have a wide variety of bad habits.

we're only going to discuss this specific one right now though.

whenever i hear a song

or watch a movie/hbo/the youTubes.

or read a novel

or listen to a personal story.

i relate the situation to my own life 

instead of hearing it as an unrelated story.

now in my defense, i don't do it cause i'm an asshole.

i am an asshole.

[or at least i've been told that enough so that

i'm finally starting to believe it.]

the reason i do it is because i feel that by relating

someone's personal issues to my own life

i'm able to gain a better understanding of how they

are being affected  emotionally (authentically?)

dr. von breakbeat 

therapist, apparently.

nightHaWK//.

now back to the issue at hand.

i have a serious problem because of it.

it's hard for me to truly enjoy anything for what it's supposed to be.

ex.

when i hear the song 

"Use Somebody" by Kings of Leon

i feel like i'm the one who can use somebody 

& when i hear the song 

"Heart of the City (Ain't No Love)" by Jay-Z

i feel like there really is no love in the heart of the city.

but the city i currently live in.

not brooklyn. (not yet at least.) 

& when i hear the song

"Magneto & Titanium Man'' by Paul McCartney/Wings...

umm.

well, i guess i just kinda think about Magneto.

that's a bad example.

the major question is why can't i get past

the mental block that stops me from enjoying something

as a work of art

or a work of fiction?

why do i have to search & stretch to find connections

between myself & Sean Bateman?

or Thom Yorke

or Daniel Plainview.

or Godzilla.

this is not new.

even when i was younger & in a punk band &

wearing high socks/cargo shorts/skateboarding sneakers 

[even though i can't skateboard]

i'd go/play a show & instead of just watch/listen/spit game at emo-girls

i would just criticize the other band(s) for what

they were doing wrong/what i would do instead.

and still hit on emo-girls.

that never changed.

what can i say, i like glasses, flats & swoopy hair/bangs.

nightHaWKcity//.

total side note.

i almost crashed my car when i looked

at the sign for the east dynasty buffet,

a shitty chinese buffet

in the shitty shopping center 

outside the shitty burbs'.

fucking unreal.

Robert Loggia

3/11/2009

a special blog present for all my friends who like 311.

today is your special day.

to smoke weed.

and talk about 311.

and smoke weed.

happy 311 day.

especially to:

Cheesesteak Anderson

B. HeartAttack// Hake

Mr. Colenzo (if you're nasty.)

Markus Aurelius Richersin

Chester Ingersol D.D.S (he's pulling yo teeth nuckah)

There is No Dana, Only Zuul.

you do this to me every single time.

i tell myself i should know better.

i know that you don't want me back.

not today.

not tomorrow.

not ever.

& yet somehow, i fall for it.

i believe that things will go back to the way they were.

i believe that we are exactly what the other one needs.

i believe together we can do anything.

that we'll always be there for each other.

that we'll always take on the world together.

that nothing can possibly stand in our way.

i believe that we will be together forever.

but we won't.

i've spent so much time.

hoping against hope.

hoping that i wasn't doing this for nothing.

knowing that i was doing it for you.

hell, everything i do, i do for you.

but i can see it in your eyes that you're interested.

& i can hear in your voice that you're not listening.

you're afraid to touch me.

god knows why.

but the question arises?

why do i want someone who doesn't want me?

even if it works out, it still means she's just settling .

settling for me.

that's what it's come to after all this time.

i'm your contingency plan.

the one you know will never leave.

the one that you're allowed to forget about.

yes it's true, i want you to be with me.

but i want YOU to want to be with me.

so instead i sit here.

awake all night, wishing she were here.

wishing to experience authentic love.

settling for secondary status.

begging for anything.

like chasing ghosts.

loving you is like chasing ghosts.

and you know what?

i ain't 'fraid of no ghosts.

as a matter of fact... 

bustin' makes me feel good.

the one thing that i can never do.

i can't believe for you.

i can't believe, in me, for you.

you gotta bill-ieve.

i think t.o just found jesus/western ny/hates cell phones.

Thoughts on a Playlist (Vol. I)

well, hello ya'll...

another exciting day upstate.

yup.

as exciting as Gary Busey on a coke bender.

was listening to a playlist on my iPod 

while i was cleaning up the kitchen.

figured i'd share some of my "legendary" insight.

"Daylight" - Matt & Kim

ok, Matt and/or Kim. i get it. 

you really enjoy living in Brooklyn.

i don't blame you, Brooklyn is the shit...

but i'm sure Grand St. isn't fucking Disneyland.

... side note: this song is awesome.

"Always a Friend" - Alejandro Escovedo

i saw Alejandro Escovedo in Chicago a few years ago by accident.

he was headlining the 2005 Blues & Folk Festival @ Welles Park.

i had no idea who he was at the time, but he was amazing.

he reminds me of Bruce Springsteen...

if he was half mexi... & lived in texas.

"White Winter Hymnal" - Fleet Foxes

this song is catchy like aids.

no homo.

it makes me want to join up with the 

minstrels at the renaissance fair. 

maybe get myself a lute/giant turkey leg/chollera

"Mobius Band in a Green Cotton Sweater" - Mobius Band

am i like really late on these guys? how did i ever miss this?

got this off of Spin.com for $free.99.

i think i like any song in which the band 

has it's own name inserted onto the title.

have you ever seen the song/album/band 

all have the same title?

that's always kinda bogus.

"Family Tree" - TV on the Radio

somebody told me that (you had a boyfriend?)

TV on the Radio sounds like a Bloc Party rip-off.

somebody is fuckin' dumb.

not that i don't like Bloc Party or anything.

but TV on the Radio is epic & so is this song.

"Oliver's Army" - Elvis Costello & the Attractions

Elvis Costello is obnoxiously good.

nothing about this song is mind-blowing, 

but god damn, his voice is cool.

also, i know the song is a protest song about Vietnam & all,

but it still sounds weird to hear Elvis Costello sing the 

words "white nigger"

kinda makes me uncomfortable. 

just a lil' bit.

oh wait, the chorus is back...

ok, i'm over it.

this song is the balls  

"Carpetbagger (feat. Elvis Costello)" - Jenny Lewis

i want Jenny Lewis to be my girlfriend.

...actually i take that back.

i wanna cheat on my girlfriend with 

Jenny Lewis in a tent at BonnaRoo.

it'd be so cooll!!!

we'd hook-up after her set.

i'd console her after the sound guy fucked up

the vocal mics on the stage.

then we'd have sweaty tent sex.

we'll think about starting a meaningful relationship,

but decide that we can't leave our respective lovers.

so we'll have an awkward final kiss & go our separate ways.

it's gonna be so hott.

word.

"ZooBar" - Project Jenny, Project Pat

imagine Animal Farm with a discotech soundtrack.

yeah, something like that.

"What We Had" - Handsome Furs

i can't stop.

i just listen to it over & over.

how come my side projects never sound this good?

it's a total downer.

"the Modern Leper" - Frightened Rabbit

i get a weird enjoyment out of any band that sings with an accent.

remember Millencolin? 

they were a swedish punk band?

they sang "No Cigar"?

Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 soundtrack?

no?

whatever. 

"Dime" - Cake

Every 5-6 months or so, i remember how good Cake is.

it's not so much i  forget that i like them as it is, 

i just forget that they're a real band sometimes.

do they ever tour/play festivals/put remixes on hype machine?

true story: i prefer Cake (as in the band)

to actual cake (as in the dessert).

"the Breaks" - Kurtis Blow

sample lyrics:

if your woman steps out with another man
& she runs off with him to Japan.
& the IRS says they want to chat,
& you can't explain why you claimed your cat.
& ma bell sends you a whopping bill

& eighteen phone calls to brazil.
& you borrowed money from the mob,

& yesterday you lost your job.

oh and after every line, the crowd yells

"that's the breaks, that's the breaks"

fucking amazing.

"Highly Suspicious" - My Morning Jacket

dude.

it's sounds like Prince joined Mastodon...

do i really need to say anymore.

jet jaguar? jet jaguar!

i want you all to know.

i am noticing that most of my blogs so far have

been related to dinosaurs/godzilla in one way or another.

i know what i like.

so sue me

this blog is indeed godzilla related.

sorta...

but just bare with me.

in the 1973 film Godzilla vs. Megalon

Toho pictures invented a new robo-monster

for the kiddies named "jet jaguar"

even though he looks nothing like a plane/cat

and in this film, he received his own theme song

anyhow... watch this video clip from

Mystery Science Theater 3000

wish i had my own theme song.

my own epic anthem for when i show up to a party/work/court.

to let everyone i the area know

that i ain't no chump.

list of possible theme songs...

1. "sabotage" the beastie boys

2. "old man river" classic folk hymn

3. "we're not gonna take it" the twisted sisters

4. something by AnCo

5. "born to run" bruce springsteen

just good bros, doing bro stuff.

Benjamin Scott Folds

i love ben folds.

don't care if it's not cool anymore.

this is the video for his latest single.

feat. tim & eric

enjoy, ya'll.

Mischief of One Kind (And Another.)

does anyone remember a book called Where the Wild Things Are?

when i was a little kid my mom bought it for me.

i remember being a little bit scared by the monsters at first

but still being totally captivated.

i remember being amazed with maurice sendak's illustrations.

they were frightening, but comforting at the same time.

like whistling in the dark.

i related to the concept of using your imagination to escape from

a world that you have no perceived control and going into a new world

where i was like a god.

where the thoughts in my head bent to my all-knowing will.

then you get older, and you forget to imagine.

it's not important to imagine anymore.

we're too busy living.

grown-up life does not allow us to 

waste our time on childish things.

we get up.

we work.

we die.

we forget.

spike jonze is directing the movie version of WTWTA.

it seems that the movie, which is in post-production, 

has proven to be too scary for the target audience.

they want mr. jonze to reshoot the film 

and make it more "family friendly".

but doesn't that defeat the purpose?

i'll be very upset if the movie doesn't keep the dark undertones.

side note: James Gandolfini is apparently 

voicing one of the monsters...

monsters with jersey accents

no wonder it's so frightening.